Within Mortality
by Shade Embry
Summary: Surviving the longest day of your life doesn't leave you unscathed. Day 2 SPOILERS.


Within Mortality

Summary: Surviving the longest day of your life doesn't leave you unscathed.

Spoilers: 2-3 P.M., basic facts from Day 1, and Mason's plotline from Day 2.

Standard disclaimers apply.

Original Character Bio: Liz Rycoff is CTU Los Angeles's Chief of Technology. She survived the first day and remained with CTU. She's best friends with Jack, but he shut even her out of his life following the events of the first day. Her other close friend is Mason, who has always wanted her to go work for him at District, but her loyalty to Jack over the political alliance she has with Mason holds her back.

Dedication: I've got to give this one out to Xander Berkeley. You made me cry. Again. When I'd decided to hate Mason this year. You're just that good. You've _always_ been just that good.

Recommended Listening: "Wild Horses" by The Sundays

Liz stood in the break room – or what was left of it – feeling like she'd turned into a useless soldier like everyone else at CTU. They all meant well, of course, but somehow, only those who survived what happened there a year and a half ago seemed like proven troops (and most of the others weren't, being recent imports), and only those who survived what happened there a year and a half ago seemed broken down by the smallest things.

She'd just verbally threatened Michelle Dessler. She'd had a pretty good hold on her anger after Jamey's death and Nina's betrayal had forced her to reevaluate her life, her standing with CTU, and just what a computer hacker was doing working for the CIA. But when Michelle had gone all off about Jack being some sort of crazed radical, drugging Ed to get at Nina, all of that, she had snapped. The look in Michelle's eyes - that little power-conniving parasite, she was about one step above Nina - had just made her snap. Mason probably knew now. Not like he could do anything about Jack, or that he would try to do anything about her, but he knew.

They all knew things were changing. They had thought things had been trouble at the end of that day a year and a half ago. But they were only seeing now just what that one day had done to them.

She sighed, glancing out where the door had once been. A familiar face caught her eye, and she noticed he was handcuffed and under escort, and it blew her mind shortly before she came heading over to see him being delivered upstairs to none other than his father. Standing there looking up into the remains of the ASAC's office, Liz really had a hard time believing George would have his own son arrested, but there the evidence was. And if it hadn't been horribly inappropriate – well, okay, if she hadn't been so damn loyal to George himself – she would've busted in and demanded to know what was happening. As it was, she stayed put.

A deep sigh escaped her lips. She wanted some time with Tony, but Tony was out on a lead. She had to apologize for giving him the brush-off. Of course, he would explain it away, since she had passed out right after the explosion, only to wake up and find Tony investigating some civilian lead, Jack and Nina in Visalia on some other tangent, and something about an airplane crash. She still didn't know what had happened to her. They had said it could have been stress. Or that maybe she was hemorraging and didn't know it. Lord only knew.

"What's happened to me?" she whispered, looking at her hands.

Time passed, and the Mason family reunion came to a close rather emotionally from the looks of things. She'd known both George and John for years; she'd been with the CIA two years ago, before George had left his family. He'd actually done her interview. It wasn't like she'd gone over for dinner, not like she had with Jack and Teri, but she knew something about them and considered them to be good people. Hopefully George had told his son the truth. Liz herself still couldn't adjust to the idea that Mason wouldn't be there looking out for her in the future. It wasn't fair, a man like him. He'd made many cruel mistakes, but he didn't deserve to die.

John headed down the stairs from the office, looking shaken. 

"John?" Liz said quietly. "Anything I can do?"

He looked over sharply in her direction. It took him a moment to remember who she was. "You still work here?" 

"Yeah. Still." She looked into his eyes. "He told you."

"Yeah." John bit his lip and probably drew blood. "I can't believe it."

"Me either. He, uh … told me after I woke up." No sense in hurting John by letting him know that she had been the first to know. "I've been unconscious for a while."

"Unconscious?" He arched an eyebrow. "What … what happened? He wouldn't tell me."

"A bomb exploded."

"Jesus."

"Yeah." She looked over at him, feeling sympathy for the man. "You need anything? Anything at all?"

"No, I…" John just stopped. "I don't really have any idea what I'm going to do."

Liz nodded. "I know the feeling. I lost both of my parents when I was a teenager."

"I'm sorry."

"It's all right." She tried to smile. "Call your mother. She should know. And I'll be here if you need anything."

They exchanged a few parting words, and Liz watched John Mason navigate his way through the ruins of CTU L.A. to the exit, still rubbing his wrists where the handcuffs had dug into his skin. He was a wayward kid himself, and George hadn't helped that, but he too deserved better. And he was facing a tough road, one she had walked. At least he didn't have two siblings to raise alone – but that didn't exactly make it any easier. 

With another deep sigh, she looked back up again at her boss and friend left to himself up there, and she did the only thing she had always known how to do. 

"Let me know when Tony comes in," she said to one of the other staffers, then set her mug down on the remains of her desk and mounted the staircase. It still creaked a little, weakened since the blast, but it supported her as she made the walk. A heavier weight fell on her shoulders now. These trying times were personal, attacking the two people she cared for most in the world. And instead of helping them, she just felt powerless.

Realizing she didn't have a door to walk through anymore, she just walked in. My God, was he _crying_? She'd only seen him do that once, a year and a half ago, when he'd ordered that tactical strike against his own will –

Childhood living is easy to do 

****

**_The things you wanted, I bought them for you…_**__

"Elisabeth, what the hell are you doing here?" Mason looked up at her with tears still in his eyes, a little torqued off at her suddenly showing up, which she knew made him feel weak, something he didn't like. He wiped the water from his eyes with his sleeve, but it just came back again. "Shouldn't you … be getting checked out, or with Almeida, or calling Paula's family, something?"

Liz flinched, recalling how Mason himself had told her of Paula's death when she had come around. She'd gone back to rescue Paula, damn it, and she'd failed. Jamey, now Paula. All her staff members died because she couldn't protect them. But the decision had been right and Paula would have been proud of it. It didn't stop her from feeling. She shoved that angst aside. It wasn't about her now.

"I'm here, George."

"I know." He looked at her sadly and tried to smile. "I've always known."

Graceless lady, you know who I am

****

**_You know I can't let you slide through my hands…_**

****

"Why are you still here?" Mason said to her after a heartbeat, studying her face – the eyes that had once burned with a proud, just fire that now held just a weary flame, the extra scars, the extra signs of wear and tear that hadn't been on the driven young woman he had always wanted by his side from the beginning. "Why are you always here?"

Liz shrugged. "Because you're here."

Wild horses 

**_Couldn't drag me away…_**

****

Mason exhaled at the familiar repartee. "You always say that."

"You know I mean it." Liz looked down at her battered hands again. "This is my life now, George. You and Jack, you are my life. You also know that."

He fell quiet again. "You don't make it easy to forget."

****

**_Wild, wild horses_**

****

**_Couldn't drag me away…_**

****

Liz watched Mason take several deep breaths, trying to find some tranquility inside himself. She knew he must be in horrible turmoil that only he could figure out. Truth be told, that stung her. It was up to him now to do what he would do with his remaining life. Eventually, soon, he would leave her.

And Jack was in Visalia, unhinged, disturbed Jack, who had shut her out of his life – however unintentionally – following Teri's death. She'd been cut off from her oldest friend, from Kim, and she'd just stepped back, trying to give him time. He had all the time he needed now. He was consumed by something else. He didn't need her. Maybe he never would need her again.

Without Mason, without Jack, she was … she stood alone, and she knew it. Maybe that was why she was so hard with this. It wasn't because of them. It was because of her, that deep fear of being alone again, and never coming back from it.

**_I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain_**

****

**_Now you've decided to show me the same…_**

****

Now it was George that was looking at her. She knew that look in his eyes, the one that said he thought she was crazy and a fool for doing what she did, but with pure pride in her for doing it and for being who she was, that unconditional promise that had never been spoken between them and now never would be.

"What's happening with you?"

"What's … with me?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

"George, we don't have time for me."

"Nobody said that." He mustered what remained of his conviction; somewhere deep inside of himself he owed her for a great many things. It was time to pay her back now. "I've got time for you." 

Quieter then: "I've got nothing but time."

****

**_No sweeping exits or offstage lines  
  
_**

**_Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind…_**

****

"I don't…" Liz started, moving into the room. "I don't know."

"You staying with CTU? With Tony?"

"I don't know. It's up in the air."

"It depends on what happens with Jack, right? Come on, I know you." His moment of humor quickly died. "When are you going to tell Tony?"

"Sometime when the world's not blowing up." She sighed. "But we already know it's over, George. It was over before it began. Like a great many things in my life."

"Don't talk like that." He was asserting his natural authority again, and she knew it. "You are the strongest person I know."

She didn't entirely believe that, but she still believed in him. 

****

**_I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie_**

****

**_I have my freedom but I don't have much time…_**

****

His back was to her for a moment as he went through the contents of his desk. "There are special instructions for you at Division," he was telling her. "I've set it up. My job is yours if you want it, and the ASAC slot here will be vacant when Tony moves up, unless hell freezes over and Jack returns, if you decide to stay here. If you quit … you'll be well taken care of."

When he faced her again, he had the slightest smirk on his face. "Of course, there _is_ the Division CoTech job I've been trying to give you for the past two years."

She laughed, just slightly, but she was humbled by how much he'd just done for her. She never thought she could hack it as a District Director, but for him to put his faith in her, to crack the bureaucratic walls like that … "Thank you," she said. "That means a lot to me. I don't know what I'll do … but to know I've got you protecting me … still …" Her voice finally just died.

"It was the least I could do. You've put up with me long enough, come hell or high water." He handed her the small box. "I also wanted to give you something to remember me by.

"It just reminded me of you," he continued as she looked at the silver ring with its phenomenally bright blue stone. "Incredibly bright, no matter what happens. Even this."

She was staring at him now. "You didn't have to."

"Yes, I did." He was surprised how much conviction he gained just with his beloved subordinate in the room. "You're going to be okay, Elisabeth. I promise."

****

**_Faith has been broken, tears must be cried_**

****

**_Let's do some living after we die…_**

****

He embraced her tightly, standing there, knowing it could very well be the last time he had the chance. They didn't hug. They weren't that kind of people, outside of maybe extreme circumstances. But he knew it just felt like something he had to do, to show her how much he appreciated the sacrifices she had made. They had fought, many times, mostly together, sometimes getting in arguments, but she had always been a silent support. Now that he would no longer require it, maybe he could give her back some of her life.

Liz felt herself starting to cry again into Mason's shoulder. As before, she couldn't stop herself. She was losing everyone she cared about. She didn't know who she was anymore, what she stood for, why she went on living. But Mason was telling her that he was going to watch out for her in every way, even after it was too late for the both of them. Sometimes she had wondered if she could keep from being torn apart with her two closest friends being rivals, but now she knew. They were above all that. Mistakes had been made, lines crossed, walls shattered … but in the end, human heart to human heart, there was faith to be found for those who needed it.

They pulled back, looked into and through each other the way only they had ever been able to do. Trying to make peace with what they had done and would be required to do. Both of them thinking about the way it might have been if things had been different. Mason, no doubt, thinking of a life as Chappelle's boss, with Liz at his right hand, trying to atone for his sins in the shadow of his beloved former boss in Phoenix. And Liz just trying to turn back time a year and a half to where Teri Bauer would be able to tell her what she should do next…

**_Wild, wild horses_**

****

**_Couldn't drag me away…_**

"Tony's bringing in a pair of suspects for questioning," he told her. "Why don't you help him out?"

"I thought we had the surveillance set up from the…"

"We'll need a second setup. You're going to have to be my eyes and ears out there, in case I miss something with mine." He smiled thinly. "You've done good work, Elisabeth."

"Thank you, George." She went to the door, thought about turning back, decided against it, and headed down the stairs. Her heart was already broken.

Mason watched her go, thinking of how much she had never lived, never loved, never experienced, and probably never would. She'd sacrificed her life silently for what she believed was right. He needed to take a lesson from his protégé. He needed to make something of himself. She had told him all along that he could. He always believed her, and now it was time for both of them to try and move forward.**__**

****

**_Wild, wild horses_**

****

**_We'll ride them someday…_**

****

He and Elisabeth were, after all, only human.

Mason took a deep breath and headed down the staircase, back into the darkness, back into the fight.

Spotting Michelle Dessler, he took the leap.

"What's next?"


End file.
